Never Been On The Outside

Expectations... We all have so many expectations from the people we know, from the people we love ... and sometimes even from people whom we don't know. We do feel connected to people whom we may even never have met or haven't talked to them much. Sometimes it just takes one conversation to feel a connection with someone and at times it takes a lifetime to know a person completely. 

This relationship can't work, I know this and you know this very well too and still we hope for a lot of things. Oh god, what mess I have created for myself and for others. A few know about it, others are unaware of what is going on. They only see a smile on my face because that is what I show them. It's not that I am not happy with my lyf... It's just impossible to explain. Still everyone time I see you, every time I meet you, there is an energy that is sparked inside of me. It takes days for me to realize the truth, and just one meeting with you or even one phone call and I am back to square one. I want to capture every moment of the time I spend with you and it keeps me enchanted until we meet again.

The scars of love have inspired some greatest of authors and singers... Taylor Swift.. yes darling you belong to my personal group of "Greatest Singers" !!!  All through my lyf I wished that I love would find me. When it did, it's no more just my lyf.

I have been in a lot of complex situations, some solved by mathematical theorems, some by laws of newton. But this situation is something else. I am unable to come out of it. I am so much into it, that there is no looking back now. No matter how much I try, I cannot solve it. Because I cannot solve it on my own. I have realized this. When will you? Maybe you realized it much before me, but when you don't you want to......

The Outside

Songwriters: Swift, Taylor Alison

I didn't know what I would find

When I went looking for a reason, I know

I didn't read between the lines

And, baby, I've got nowhere to go

I tried to take the road less traveled by

But nothing seems to work the first few times

Am I right?

So how can I ever try to be better?

Nobody ever lets me in

I can still see you, this ain't the best view

On the outside looking in

I've been a lot of lonely places

I've never been on the outside

You saw me there, but never knew

I would give it all up to be

A part of this, a part of you

And now it's all too late so you see

You could've helped if you had wanted to

But no one notices until it's too

Late to do anything

So how can I ever try to be better?

Nobody ever lets me in

I can still see you, this ain't the best view

On the outside looking in

I've been a lot of lonely places

I've never been on the outside 

I never knew that pain is, until I knew what is love. Love without pain is not love. You won't realize that you are in love unless it hurts you from the inside. I can still see you in my mind, but this was never the view I thought I will have of you. As described by this song, this ain't the best view, but from where I see you happy and a part of your own crowd. I could never be a part of your closed loop. I always saw me outside of your crowd, but you never knew what all I did to be a part of it. I will never tell you and I will not even write those in this blog. Those will remain in my memories and will die with me. It's a lonely place back here. I have no idea what is happening when it comes to love. No one does! There's no pattern with which you can identify and plan for the next steps. The only thing common is that is happens to all of us.