You're Beautiful !!!

I know you have been told this numerous times that you are very beautiful. But this phrase has a lot deeper meaning than just to express your outer beauty. People have said this to you and I agree that they also might have meant what I am trying to say, but just for the sake of saying again, I am telling you that there is no one in this world as beautiful as you.

Our lives have different paths and I am glad our paths met for once and we did share some of our best moments of life. I have all the memories of our times, and some pictures too, which always make me cry. I don't know why do we meet people whom we can never have in our life. But even though it may be difficult for me, it might be so much for you. So I just want to say what this song says... Stay Beautiful !!!

Stay Beautiful - Taylor Swift

Songwriters: Rose, Liz; Swift, Taylor Alison;

Cory's eyes are like a jungle

he smiles, it's like the radio

He whispers songs into my window

in words nobody knows

There's pretty girls on every corner

that watch him as he's walking home

saying, does he know

Will you ever know

Chorus:

You're beautiful

Every little piece, love, don't you know

You're really gonna be someone, ask anyone

When you find everything you've looked for

I hope your life leads you back to my door

Oh but if it don't, stay beautiful

Cory finds another way to be

the highlight of my day

I'm taking pictures in my mind

so I can save them for a rainy day

It's hard to make conversation

when he's taking my breathe away

I should say, hey by the way...

Repeat Chorus

If you and I are a story

that never gets told

If what you are is a daydream

I'll never get to hold, at least you'll know

You're beautiful

Every little piece, love, don't you know

You're really gonna be someone, ask anyone

When you find everything you've looked for

I hope your life leads you back to my front door

Oh but if it don't, will you stay beautiful beautiful beatiful...

beautiful beautiful beautiful

Ohh ohh ohhh

oh but if it don't

Stay Beautiful

Stay Beautiful

You are the best and you deserve the best. Everyone wants to be with you but rarely will there be someone lucky who wil be close to your heart. I am really honored to have been that someone. Even then there is something between us which never gets clicked. Maybe our future is the biggest hindrance in our present. And tomorrow when we both have a good career, a bright future, then I wish we both land together face to face and I hope we share the same feelings what we share today.

Things have changed in the recent few months and this is what I am left with... Just some blank lines on which you can't even figure out if something is written or...

Teardrops.... Just can't stop....

I wish I could play guitar then this song would probably made more sense. It's so funny that when we look back at our past and think about the times we laughed, it makes us cry. And when we look back at the times when we cried, it makes us laugh because now we feel that we weren't mature enough to handle that situation. Maybe I will think about this night after 5 years and I'll smile at my own blog. This circle of smiling and crying will continue until I die. Memories of loss that can never be healed up. I guess we have to learn how to cope with different situations in different ways. I have faith in my future that some day it will make me forget all my past and all there will be left is the present. You just know some things, without any proof or reasoning. I feel like crying, but this fact in itself is making me smile. I really don't know whether I should cry of smile. People walk in to your life, teach you so many things and then when you are used to them, one day you realize they are gone. They are no more with you. They are not with you anymore to share your happy moments. When you cry, they are no more there to comfort you by trying all the tricks in this world to make you smile. All you have with you is your guitar and your teardrops that keep falling on it whenever you play any song that reminds you something from your past. These memories surface so many emotions that it is hard to express them in words. I heard somewhere that feelings that can be expressed in words are no feelings at all.

Teardrops On My Guitar lyrics

Songwriters: Rose, Liz; Swift, Taylor Alison;

Drew looks at me

I fake a smile so he won't see

What I want and I need

And everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful

That girl he talks about

And she's got everything

That I have to live without

Drew talks to me

I laugh 'cause it's just so funny

I can't even see

Anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love

He's finally got it right

I wonder if he knows

He's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star

He's the song in the car I keep singing

Don't know why I do

Drew walks by me

Can he tell that I can't breathe?

And there he goes, so perfectly

The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight

Give him all her love

Look in those beautiful eyes

And know she's lucky 'cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star

He's the song in the car I keep singing

Don't know why I do

So I drive home alone

As I turn out the light

I'll put his picture down

And maybe get some sleep tonight

'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart

He's the song in the car I keep singing

Don't know why I do

He's the time taken up but there's never enough

And he's all that I need to fall into

Drew looks at me

I fake a smile so he won't see.

We can never replace the people in our lives that we love. And the irony of love is that of all the friends I have left with me, they'll believe I loved as best as I could, even when I couldn't believe I could love at all. After this loss, I know I'm not REALLY lost. It just feels that way. But as Robert Frost said "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on."

Yes so my life will go on. Don't know why god has chosen me for such painful life. Maybe others were not strong enough to handle this. Neither am I. And miles to go before I sleep.

Songs about my soul...

So, I am back again, not trying at all to keep any promises made because I know promises are made to be broken. I was a club last weekend where I managed to get hold of a pen and paper wo write down something. No doubt I was drunk but I am sure some of my capabilities were still at peak (like walking straight and writing).

I have started living life as if just existing. This was not the kind of ending I ever wished for our relationship. Having a cup of coffee brings tears to my eyes. I can see that evening in my head everyday afterdark. This distance of 8000 miles between us was a mistake which I realized quite late. I realized that being practical at times is a mistake, choosing head over heart is a mistake, money over friendship is a mistake, distance over love is a mistake. When I breathe, I am looking for that amazing fragrance of yours for which I have been crazy, but I know its nowhere near me. As someone rightly said "It only hurts when I breathe".

Life is incomplete without you near me and that's all I want you to know. Somehow I wish you read this blog and know what you mean to me. I know it ain't gonna happen and there's not gonna be a happy ending for this story.

It's expressed perfectly by this song... again from Taylor Alison Swift:

Breathe - Taylor Swift - Colbie Caillat

I see your face in my mind as I drive away

'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way

People are people and sometimes we change our minds

But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie

It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see

'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down

Now I don't know what to be without you around

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe

Without you, but I have to

Breathe

Without you, but I have to

Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt

Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve

People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out

Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe

Without you, but I have to

Breathe

Without you, but I have to

It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend

Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me

It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend

Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh

I can't breathe

Without you, but I have to

Breathe

Without you, but I have to

Breathe

Without you, but I have to

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

Yes its almost 2 AM here and probably I have lost you ( Yeah I realize that 7 months later) but I will never stop trying to get you back. That's the reason why I am still alive. I might be good in programming, but when it comes to fixing bugs in relationships, I am not good enough. Please understand that I may have made mistakes because I am just a human. I don't want to die with this suffering.

There are so many tings that we have to do in spite of knowing the consequences

I am starving for life and this pain is still killing me softly.

Songs of my soul...

Well, so I have done it. I have been following some blogs for years now, and I never thought I would write my own blog, but I defeated myself.

I won't write much about myself here in this blog (maybe later I would like to express myself) but right now i just want to write some songs with which I have something in common.

Listening to them, I feel lost in my past and I can remember each and every day that the song talks about. No no, I am not publicizing any soundtrack, just the songs I love.

You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

You're on the phone with your girlfriend

She's upset.

She's going off about something that you said

'Cuz she doesn't get your humor like I do...

I'm in the room

It's a typical Tuesday night

I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like

And she'll never know your story like I do'

But she wears short skirts

I wear T-shirts

She's cheer captain

And I'm in the bleachers

Dreaming about the day when you wake up

And find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can't you see

You belong with me

You belong with me

Walk in the streets with you and your worn-out jeans

I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be

Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself

Hey isn't this easy

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town

I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down

You say your fine

I know you better then that

Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that

She wears high heels

I wear sneakers

She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers

Dreaming about the day when you wake up

And find that what what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can't you see

You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door

All this time how could you not know

Baby...

You belong with me

You belong with me

Oh'

I remember you drivin' to my house in the middle of the night

I'm the one who makes you laugh

When you know you're about to cry

And I know your favorite songs

And you tell me about your dreams

I think I know where you belong

I think I know it's with me...

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you

Been here all along

So why can't you see

You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door

All this time

How could you not know

Baby you belong with me

You belong with me

You belong with me

Have you ever thought just maybe

You belong with me

You belong with

You belong with me...

Yes I do remember that night, driving to your place and having a coffee with you. Not speaking a word and just waiting for that teardrop from your eye. It was like a night I wished never ended. Watching you sitting so close to me, staring in your eyes, it was awesome. I have never understood you so much than I did that night without even talking to you. Today the distance between us immense, but I will still cherish all those memories I have with you and you will always have a special place in my heart no mater what happens.

Disclaimer: I don't wish to disclose my identity (as if anyone cares who I am, but still) and things like what I do, where I am, so don't ask me these Qs.