Sparks Fly

I am a little disappointed as slowly day by day I am starting to realize the truth. I knew I had to face it someday and it seems like that day isn't far off now. You did not tell me, but I just know it. I said to you that I don't know anything. I lied. I know that I am gonna miss you. I know that you are gonna miss me too. I know things will never be the same between us. I know whatever that did not happen was never supposed to happen at all. I know that this is just a hopeless trial and I am gonna lose it.

But no matter what, it cannot stop me from writing here on this page where you will never ever reach. And even if you find this page out sometime in future, it won't have any significance. I still won't stop me for wishing for a fairy tale. As I mentioned previously also, I know that this relationship won't work and I am just trying to take in every moment of it and I am trying to lose myself in those moments.

You sometimes feel that I take you for granted. I will never know how much you mean to me and probably no one takes you so seriously as me. I will not write about specific instances because there is no one I want to prove my innocence. If you don't feel it, then it doesn't matter if the whole world knows about it or not. I may have fallen short of your expectations sometimes, but I have my boundaries too. I always tend to bend them for you but still all I hear at the end is that I take you for granted. The thing that hurts the most is that when you are accused of something you never committed, knowingly. What we say, doesn't matter. What matters is how we make them feel. Beyond that, no act of convincing or argument can help you. People will forget what you say to them, but they will always remember how you made them feel. I may not deserver you love, but I really need it!!!

Sparks Fly

Songwriters: Swift, Taylor Alison;

The way you move is like a full on rainstorm 

And I'm a house of cards 

You’re the kind of reckless that should send me running 

But I kinda know that I won’t get far 

And you stood there in front of me 

Just close enough to touch 

Close enough to hope you couldn't see 

What I was thinking of 

Drop everything now 

Meet me in the pouring rain 

Kiss me on the sidewalk 

Take away the pain 

Cause' I see sparks fly whenever you smile 

Get me with those green eyes, baby 

As the lights go down 

Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around 

Cause I see, sparks fly whenever you smile 

My mind forgets to remind me you’re a bad idea 

You touch me once and it’s really something 

You find I’m even better than you imagined I would be 

I’m on my guard for the rest of the world 

But with you I know it’s no good 

And I could wait patiently but I really wish you would 

Drop everything now 

Meet me in the pouring rain 

Kiss me on the sidewalk 

Take away the pain 

Cause I see, sparks fly whenever you smile 

Get me with those green eyes, baby 

As the lights go down 

Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around 

Cause I see, sparks fly whenever you smile 

I run my fingers through your hair 

And watch the lights go wild 

Just keep on keeping your eyes on me 

It’s just strong enough to make it feel right 

And lead me up the staircase 

Won't you whisper soft and slow 

I’m captivated by you baby 

Like a fireworks show 

Drop everything now 

Meet me in the pouring rain 

Kiss me on the sidewalk 

Take away the pain 

Cause I see, sparks fly whenever you smile 

Get me with those green eyes, baby 

As the lights go down 

Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around 

Cause I see, sparks fly whenever you smile 

Yeah, my mind forgets to remind me that I am not gonna have you this time. And everytime I talk to you, I forget all of it. I can see is you. All I can admire is you, ignoring the fact about the future. And everytime we part, I come back to this same page, listen to another song, try to find my story in that song and then write it here. I know the story is the same in all the posts, but words are different. The feelings are the same, but the way to express those feelings differ. I am the same, but you differ.. Probably it should be the other way round... You are the same, but I differ. Regret that.

Never Been On The Outside

Expectations... We all have so many expectations from the people we know, from the people we love ... and sometimes even from people whom we don't know. We do feel connected to people whom we may even never have met or haven't talked to them much. Sometimes it just takes one conversation to feel a connection with someone and at times it takes a lifetime to know a person completely. 

This relationship can't work, I know this and you know this very well too and still we hope for a lot of things. Oh god, what mess I have created for myself and for others. A few know about it, others are unaware of what is going on. They only see a smile on my face because that is what I show them. It's not that I am not happy with my lyf... It's just impossible to explain. Still everyone time I see you, every time I meet you, there is an energy that is sparked inside of me. It takes days for me to realize the truth, and just one meeting with you or even one phone call and I am back to square one. I want to capture every moment of the time I spend with you and it keeps me enchanted until we meet again.

The scars of love have inspired some greatest of authors and singers... Taylor Swift.. yes darling you belong to my personal group of "Greatest Singers" !!!  All through my lyf I wished that I love would find me. When it did, it's no more just my lyf.

I have been in a lot of complex situations, some solved by mathematical theorems, some by laws of newton. But this situation is something else. I am unable to come out of it. I am so much into it, that there is no looking back now. No matter how much I try, I cannot solve it. Because I cannot solve it on my own. I have realized this. When will you? Maybe you realized it much before me, but when you don't you want to......

The Outside

Songwriters: Swift, Taylor Alison

I didn't know what I would find

When I went looking for a reason, I know

I didn't read between the lines

And, baby, I've got nowhere to go

I tried to take the road less traveled by

But nothing seems to work the first few times

Am I right?

So how can I ever try to be better?

Nobody ever lets me in

I can still see you, this ain't the best view

On the outside looking in

I've been a lot of lonely places

I've never been on the outside

You saw me there, but never knew

I would give it all up to be

A part of this, a part of you

And now it's all too late so you see

You could've helped if you had wanted to

But no one notices until it's too

Late to do anything

So how can I ever try to be better?

Nobody ever lets me in

I can still see you, this ain't the best view

On the outside looking in

I've been a lot of lonely places

I've never been on the outside 

I never knew that pain is, until I knew what is love. Love without pain is not love. You won't realize that you are in love unless it hurts you from the inside. I can still see you in my mind, but this was never the view I thought I will have of you. As described by this song, this ain't the best view, but from where I see you happy and a part of your own crowd. I could never be a part of your closed loop. I always saw me outside of your crowd, but you never knew what all I did to be a part of it. I will never tell you and I will not even write those in this blog. Those will remain in my memories and will die with me. It's a lonely place back here. I have no idea what is happening when it comes to love. No one does! There's no pattern with which you can identify and plan for the next steps. The only thing common is that is happens to all of us.