The Story Of Us - Tragedy Now !!!

Taylor swift recently started her Speak Now tour in Singapore with this song called "The Story Of Us". Actually this was the third song in her performance.

Yes probably the story of us... Which we thought of as an unending tale...is almost over now. The memory burned out... The ashes are what remains of that relationship now... And certainly its not helping in my survival. Did you not know how it is to feel lonely... I thought no one would ever know more about it than you... Still you let this tragic end happen to our story? Does it ever bother you? Do you ever think about it? 


Have you never felt alone at a party where everyone else is shouting at the top of their voice and you are standing in one corner, feeling like there is nothing to speak now. It's all in the feelings.

Can separation be a thing to celebrate? If yes, then would you call it as an act of bravery or cowardice. Well I guess from what perspective you see the situation. This has been a topic that has kept me wondering whether I want to write about it or not. It's not like if its not celebrating, it may still end up on my blog... for some un-realized (read as un-disclosed) reasons. Yes so it's time to celebrate the end now. I realize that there is no more hope left. The other day you innocently asked me what was missing in your lyf... And I was stupid enough to scream within my heart... That's me sweetheart!!! I wish I had the courage to say it out loud to you.

The Story Of Us

Songwriters: Swift, Taylor Alison;

I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us

How we met and the sparks flew instantly

People would say, "they're the lucky ones"

I used to know my place was a spot next to you

Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat

'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on

Oh, a simple complication

Miscommunications lead to fall out

So many things that I wish you knew

So many walls up I can't break through

Now I'm standing alone

In a crowded room

And we're not speaking

And I'm dying to know

Is it killing you

Like it's killing me?

I don't know what to say

Since a twist of fate

When it all broke down

And the story of us

Looks a lot like a tragedy now

Next chapter

How'd we end up this way?

See me nervously pulling at my clothes

And trying to look busy

And you're doing your best to avoid me

I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us

How I was losing my mind when I saw you here

But you held your pride like you should have held me

Oh, we're scared to see the ending

Why are we pretending this is nothing?

I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how

I've never heard silence quite this loud

Now I'm standing alone

In a crowded room

And we're not speaking

And I'm dying to know

Is it killing you

Like it's killing me?

I don't know what to say

Since a twist of fate

When it all broke down

And the story of us

Looks a lot like a tragedy now

This is looking like a contest

Of who can act like they care less

But I liked it better when you were on my side

The battle's in your hands now

But I would lay my armor down

If you'd say you'd rather love than fight

So many things that you wish I knew

But the story of us might be ending soon

Now I'm standing alone

In a crowded room

And we're not speaking

And I'm dying to know

Is it killing you

Like it's killing me?

I don't know what to say

Since a twist of fate

When it all broke down

And the story of us

Looks a lot like a tragedy now, now, now

And we're not speaking

And I'm dying to know

Is it killing you

Like it's killing me?

I don't know what to say

Since a twist of fate

'cause we're going down

And the story of us

Looks a lot like a tragedy now

Definitely I will miss something in my left over lyf, but I am not complaining about it anymore. It was always my decision, so I don't want to sound childish, regretting the past. I have heard the loud sound of silence. If you haven't
Our story was destined to messed up. We can't turn things back, or try to make things right. There is just too much damage that has happened. I ask this question again, I don't know to whom, why do we attach ourselves to the people if we don't know whether they will be with us forever or not.  The problem with getting attached to someone is that when you lose them, you lose yourself. The irony is that you leave the whole world for just one person, and that person leaves you for the world.

If I try hard enough I'm sure I could forget you. One day I will get out of these memory lanes.

Untouchable

I had a dream. Yeah we all do have dreams but sometimes dreams mean a lot more to us than reality. It may be because of our real life failures or maybe because of our extra ordinary achievements that we have in our dreams. I am not sure which case I belong to. My dreams too meant a lot to me. Or maybe its like this, if you don't get something you want in your real life, you somehow get the power to manifest our own dreams and think of that as the reality. One such story I had in which I was with the one who mattered (read as matters) to me the most. But with every new begining of the day, its a sad ending to a new dream. Everyday a battle is lost, but what matters is not whether I win or lose a battle, but how beautifully (not bravely) I face it. 

When I was a kid, I read a this quote from Paul Coelho - "When you know what you want the whole world conspires you to achieve it". And I didnt know the meaning of it, but truly wanted to believe in it until I grew up and realized its the other way round. He should have written the quote this way - "When you know what you want the whole world conspires against you so that you never achieve it". 

I don't know from where it went wrong. In fact not all things in life can be classified into black and white or right and wrong. So its not a question of what is right and what is wrong and unacceptable because these are very subjective terms, but it is a question of how much faith you have in your own decisions and how much you ready to fight for something you deeply believe in. Sometime, we think that someone very 'close' to us or we just hope that this person is really close to us just the way we am close to them. But in reality it's not that simple. We need that person so desperately... but we know we can't have them. Sooner or later, we realize that it's pointless trying to mend things but not before we're left broken. All the planning is washed away  when it comes to making that 'untouchable' person a reality for ourself, simply because that person is a million miles away. That person is meant to be "Untouchable" for us. I dream about her and want her to say they she wants to be with me but in reality, she won't.

Everyone knows about the story behind this song. And I am not the one researching that topic anymore. So nothing except this beautiful song takes space on my blog!!! Untouchable is wanting someone you cannot have. For me, it reminds me of wanting someone that I always wanted in my life, but when it came to showing how much I wanted, I failed miserably and that's the reason of why that person became untouchable for me now.

Untouchable

Untouchable like a distant diamond sky

I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why

I'm caught up in you, I'm caught up in you

Untouchable, burning brighter than the sun

And when you're close, I feel like coming undone

In the middle of the night when I'm in this dream

It's like a million little stars spelling out your name

You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together

Come on, come on, little taste of heaven

It's half full and I won't wait here all day

I know you're saying that you'd be here anyway

But you're untouchable, burning brighter than the sun

Now that you're close, I feel like coming undone

In the middle of the night when I'm in this dream

It's like a million little stars spelling out your name

You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together

Come on, come on, oh

In the middle of the night waking from this dream

I wanna feel you by my side, standing next to me

You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together

Come on, come on, little taste of heaven

I'm caught up in you

Oh, oh, oh

But your untouchable, burning brighter than the sun

Now that you're close, I feel like coming undone

In the middle of the night when I'm in this dream

It's like a million little stars spelling out your name

You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together

Come on, come on, oh

In the middle of the night when I'm in this dream

It's like a million little stars spelling out your name

You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together

Come on, come on, come on

In the middle of the night waking from this dream

I wanna feel you by my side, standing next to me

You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together

Come on, come on, little taste of heaven

And in the middle of the night when I'm in this dream

It's like a million little stars spelling out your name

You gotta come on, come on, come on, come on

Come on, come on, oh, oh, oh

Like a million little stars spelling out your name

They're spelling out your name, oh

"No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind." - Taylor Swift 

People say that once you hit rock bottom, things can only get better. But sometimes you never hit rock bottom. Sometimes life’s the rabbit hole and we have no idea of how deep the rabbit hole goes and we just keep on falling. No time to slow down, no thought of turning around, nothing to stop you. You just fall forever.

'Follow the dream' doesn't mean 'leave the love'. Roam if you must, but come back when you've seen enough. I've seen enough and I want to go back now.

There's no such thing as a grown up. We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and from our own, but the basic insecurities, the basic fears and all those old wounds just grow up with us. We get bigger, we get taller, we get older, but for the most part, we're still a bunch of kids running around the playground trying desperately to fit in. - Grey's Anatomy

The most difficult phase of your life is not when no one understands you. It's when people, who matter the most in your lyf, don't even try to understand you. You can blame me for not trying. I’ve seen enough years, but the only season I have witnessed is the season of loneliness. I want to believe that I am not alone. But the realization of you being "Untouchable" shatters all my hopes. I don't know what is this stupid phase of lyf. The only thing getting me through all these seasons is the false hopes and my wishful dreams. 

"I hate being in this position. I’m forcing myself to let go of the one person I need in my life. You’re the only thing that makes sense, but at the same time, the one thing that complicates me. I know that I’m better off without you, but I feel empty whenever I try to let go."

Back To December

This has been due for the past couple of weeks now. No it really does not coincide with anything. It's again that time of the year when the cold waves remind you that you need warmth, care which will comfort you in the dark nights of December. A couple of years back, these nights were not so cold. I wish I had an opportunity to go back in time and change things the way they should have been. Humans, being to powerful and intelligent beings, are also one of the most helpless of all. We have the power to create memories the way we want them to be, but we don't have the power to get rid of the those that make us cry. 

The decisions I made, cannot be changed now. The steps I took cannot be reverted back. The time I did not spend with you cannot be regained back. I think I owe an apology for all that.

Last 1 year has been long. I've tried to change things, in the hope for good. Not sure whether I have been successful or not. I read this famous quote and tried to do something so that I can at least change the end, if not the beginning - "No one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending."

Back To December

Songwriters: Swift, Taylor Alison;

I'm so glad you made time to see me

How's life, tell me how's your family

I haven't seen them in a while

You've been good, busier then ever

We small talk, work and the weather

Your guard is up and I know why

'Cause the last time you saw me

Is still burned in the back of your mind

You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride,

Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night

And I'd go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right

I go back to December all the time

These days I haven't been sleeping

Staying up playing back myself leaving

When your birthday passed and I didn't call

And I think about summer, all the beautiful times

I watched you laughing from the passenger side and,

Realized I loved you in the fall

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind

You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride,

Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night

And I'd go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right

And how you held me in your arms that September night,

The first time you ever saw me cry

Maybe this is wishful thinking

Probably mindless dreaming

If we loved again I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't

So if the chain is on your door, I understand

But this is me swallowing my pride,

Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night

And I'd go back to December

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright

I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time

It's typical to cling on to the memories you'll never get back again, and to go through all the photographs of long ago. And there below her face in the picture, you wrote her name and that date. And you can't believe she's really gone now. This last year has been busy for you and for me too. We have got our own lives. We got own own bills to pay. We got our own responsibilities to take care of. But in spite of all that, I know these memories will haunt me for the rest of my life. I don't know why breathing hurts so much. I wish I could find out whats wrong with me.

Making way for a change here... I learned that even though I can not change the past, I can always change the way I look and think about it :-)

Fearless Love !!!

I may not have seen enough of this world, but one thing I have come across at so many instances is that where there is love, there is fear. Fear of losing, or even fear of winning. When you get what you want in lyf, there is a fear of losing that is so close to you and if you don't get something you want so badly, you have the fear of facing the world without your achievements. When you have a fake identity on the internet, then you have the fear of becoming public figure. Fear of being followed, fear of being watched of your each action online, fear of statcounter being hacked, fear of your e-mail or blog being hacked. But at the end of the day, what matters is not the feeling of having fear, but the strive to still carry on in-spite of those fears. It's ok to have fears, but its an achievement to be Fearless.

I read this quote by Taylor Swift  - To me, Fearless is not the absense of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, Fearles is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you've been hurt before. Fearless is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. Fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again...even though every time you've tried before, you've lost. It's Fearless to have faith that someday things will change. Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can't breathe without them. I think it's Fearless to fall for your best friend, even though he's in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they'll never stop doing, I think it's Fearless to stop believing them. It's Fearless to say "you're NOT sorry", and walk away. I think loving something despite what people think is Fearless. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is Fearless. Letting go is Fearless. Then, moving on and being alright...That's Fearless too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. That's why I write these songs. Because I think love is Fearless.

Sometimes you meet a person in life with whom you sync up so many things in life. Your smiles are linked... Everytime I listen to this song... it reminds me of the days when I loved fearlessly.

Fearless

Songwriters: Lindsey, Hillary; Rose, Liz; Swift, Taylor Alison;

 There's somethin' 'bout the way 

The street looks when it's just rained

There’s a glow off the pavement 

You walk me to the car 

And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there 

In the middle of the parking lot 

Yeah

We're drivin' down the road 

I wonder if you know 

I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now 

But you're just so cool 

Run your hands through your hair 

Absent mindedly makin' me want you

And I don't know how it gets better than this 

You take my hand and drag me head first 

Fearless 

And I don't know why but with you I'd dance 

In a storm in my best dress 

Fearless

So baby drive slow

‘Til we run out of road in this one horse town 

I wanna stay right here in this passenger’s seat 

You put your eyes on me 

In this moment now capture every memory

And I don't know how it gets better than this 

You take my hand and drag me head first 

Fearless 

And I don't know why but with you I’d dance 

In a storm in my best dress 

Fearless

Well you stood there with me in the doorway 

my hands shake 

I'm not usually this way but

You pull me in & I’m a little more brave

It’s the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin’, it’s fearless.

And I don't know how it gets better than this 

You take my hand and drag me head first 

Fearless 

And I don't know why but with you I’d dance 

In a storm in my best dress
Fearless

I may promise to hereby love fearlessly for the rest of my life, but promises have always been broken. You were supposed to be "The One" for me. You were supposed to take care of me forever. You were the one who was supposed to make me feel fearless. I had my doubts all along the way, but you always proved me wrong. Then out of the blue, you made me realize that I was correct when I was scared. You lived up to all of of my doubts. It was as if, when I was almost healed, you broke me again. Am I just suppose to move on....to forget? And hope that its for my own good? To spare me? Because I deserve something more?  You were the one I cared about. If loneliness and pain is better... then I can say it's getting better day by day.

How am I to act as if you never came along? How am I supposed to stop thinking about you next second? How am I to delete your name, your number, your memory? I can't do that. I can't un-love you. I thought I did not want to complain, seriously, this is not a complaint anymore. I don't know how the topic being fearless turned into this. So just stopping it right here and now.

A Perfect Day !!!

For a change, I want to write about a perfect day of my life. Infact is there something called a Perfect Day?

Each and everyday is perfect in its own sense. Everyday the sun rises in the morning, but we fail to understand the importance of Sun, until the time we wake up to see clouds 3 days in a row. That's exactly what I have been going through. I did not realize the importance of being happy (even though deep inside i don't feel like that) until I found that I have been miserable for so many days now. The last couple of days have been fine, exciting, feeling like things may be back on track. Lost something, regained something that I was always so interested in. You dare not try to take it back from me again!!! Circumstances may not be better but atleast they are portrayed to be better than before. I am sure you know what I am talking about. Good to see you back, even when I had never told you to go.

I heard this one on "Wicked Hour" on FM nearly 9 years ago and I even remember the presenter's name and have been searching for him for quite some time but to no avail. It was the last "Wicked Hour" that he presented, and since then I have been wondering if he will ever come back.

At a fund-raising dinner for a school that serves learning disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and it's dedicated staff, he offered a question. "When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?" 

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. "I believe," he continued, "that when a child like Shay comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?"

Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging. 

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and, getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning." 

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's Team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the outfield. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. 

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat. At this juncture, would the team let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. 

Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact. 

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. 

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. 

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher took the ball and turned and threw the ball on a high arc to right field, far beyond the reach of the first baseman.

Everyone started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. 

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" 

By the time Shay rounded first base, the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions and intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. 

Shay ran toward second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases toward home. Shay reached second base, the opposing shortstop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third!" 

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams were screaming, "Shay, run home!" Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the "grand slam" and won the game for his team. 

"That day," said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world."

Today Was A Fairytale

Songwriters: Swift, Taylor Alison;

Today was a fairytale

You were the prince

I used to be a damsel in distress

You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six

Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale

I wore a dress

You wore a dark grey t-shirt

You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess

Today was a fairytale

Time slows down when ever you're around

But can you feel this magic in the air? 

It must have been the way you kissed me 

Fell in love when I saw you standing there 

It must have been the way 

Today was a fairytale 

It must have been the way 

Today was a fairytale 

Today was a fairytale 

You've got a smile that takes me to another planet 

Every move you make everything you say is right 

Today was a fairytale 

Today was a fairytale 

All that I can say is now it's getting so much clearer 

Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face 

Today was a fairytale 

Time slows down whenever you're around, yeah 

But can you feel this magic in the air? 

It must have been the way you kissed me 

Fell in love when I saw you standing there 

It must have been the way 

Today was a fairytale 

It must have been the way 

Today was a fairytale 

Time slows down whenever you're around 

I can feel my heart 

It's beating in my chest 

Did you feel it? 

I can't put this down 

But can you feel this magic in the air? 

It must have been the way you kissed me 

Fell in love when I saw you standing there 

It must have been the way 

But can you feel this magic in the air? 

It must have been the way you kissed me 

Fell in love when I saw you standing there 

It must have been the way 

Today was a fairytale 

It must have been the way 

Today was a fairytale 

Oh, oh, yeah, oh 

Today was a fairytale

Things are better today. It was a good day.. just like I would have taken this song for. Some good news, not related to me of-course, but there are times in lyf that some good news regarding someone far away from us makes us smile. Sometimes, we just need a reason to smile and today I got that reason. I will remember this day always. Will definitely write more on this aspect of my lyf.