Back To December

This has been due for the past couple of weeks now. No it really does not coincide with anything. It's again that time of the year when the cold waves remind you that you need warmth, care which will comfort you in the dark nights of December. A couple of years back, these nights were not so cold. I wish I had an opportunity to go back in time and change things the way they should have been. Humans, being to powerful and intelligent beings, are also one of the most helpless of all. We have the power to create memories the way we want them to be, but we don't have the power to get rid of the those that make us cry. 

The decisions I made, cannot be changed now. The steps I took cannot be reverted back. The time I did not spend with you cannot be regained back. I think I owe an apology for all that.

Last 1 year has been long. I've tried to change things, in the hope for good. Not sure whether I have been successful or not. I read this famous quote and tried to do something so that I can at least change the end, if not the beginning - "No one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending."

Back To December

Songwriters: Swift, Taylor Alison;

I'm so glad you made time to see me

How's life, tell me how's your family

I haven't seen them in a while

You've been good, busier then ever

We small talk, work and the weather

Your guard is up and I know why

'Cause the last time you saw me

Is still burned in the back of your mind

You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride,

Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night

And I'd go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right

I go back to December all the time

These days I haven't been sleeping

Staying up playing back myself leaving

When your birthday passed and I didn't call

And I think about summer, all the beautiful times

I watched you laughing from the passenger side and,

Realized I loved you in the fall

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind

You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride,

Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night

And I'd go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right

And how you held me in your arms that September night,

The first time you ever saw me cry

Maybe this is wishful thinking

Probably mindless dreaming

If we loved again I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't

So if the chain is on your door, I understand

But this is me swallowing my pride,

Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night

And I'd go back to December

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright

I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time

It's typical to cling on to the memories you'll never get back again, and to go through all the photographs of long ago. And there below her face in the picture, you wrote her name and that date. And you can't believe she's really gone now. This last year has been busy for you and for me too. We have got our own lives. We got own own bills to pay. We got our own responsibilities to take care of. But in spite of all that, I know these memories will haunt me for the rest of my life. I don't know why breathing hurts so much. I wish I could find out whats wrong with me.

Making way for a change here... I learned that even though I can not change the past, I can always change the way I look and think about it :-)

Our Song - A Song For Us !!!

The other day I was thinking that we have spent so much of time together that it seems like I have spent one lifetime with you and if I can going on talking about that, I will take two lifetimes to tell the complete story. When we talk, we create a story and when we don't talk we create more stories :-)

I can actually write a blog entry for each day I spent with you, but maybe you won't be interested in all those details. For you, it may just be a good evening, a nice day or a sad day, but for me every day was like a celebration. And that, I think, is the real measure of friendship — being able to love to be with each other, no matter for how long — and no regrets if that could not have been possible in years.
So this song fits exactly what I have to say to you. I may never say this to you face to face and I also know that you will never read this blog, but still I have to take out my feelings, so this is that place where I am a stranger and I can say whatever I feel and whatever I have to say to you. People will tak everything about you and me, but it is none of our business what they talk about us and I am least concerned about that. And so are you, isnt't it?

Our Song

Songwriters: Swift, Taylor Alison;

I was riding shotgun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car

He's got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel
The other on my heart
I look around, turn the radio down
He says baby is something wrong?
I say nothing I was just thinking how we don't have a song
And he says...


[Chorus:]
Our song is the slamming screen door,
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window
When we're on the phone and you talk real slow
Cause it's late and your mama don't know
Our song is the way you laugh
The first date "man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have"
And when I got home ... before I said amen
Asking God if He could play it again

I was walking up the front porch steps after everything that day
Had gone all wrong and been trampled on
And lost and thrown away
Got to the hallway, well on my way to my lovin' bed
I almost didn't notice all the roses
And the note that said...

[Repeat Chorus]


I've heard every album, listened to the radio
Waited for something to come along
That was as good as our song...

 Cause our song is the slamming screen door
Sneaking out late, tapping on his window
When we're on the phone and he talks real slow
Cause it's late and his mama don't know
Our song is the way he laughs
The first date "man, I didn't kiss him, and I should have"
And when I got home, before I said amen
Asking God if He could play it again

I was riding shotgun with my hair undone
In the front seat of his car
I grabbed a pen and an old napkin
And I... wrote down our song

Our relationship, though best not classified on the human defined terminology, is a little bit similar to this song too. I loved being on the phone late at night when I was not supposed to be. So this part of the song reminds me of the conversations that I have had late at night. If I could write a song to describe what is there on my mind, this would have been the perfect song that I could have written... Only if I was Taylor Swift :-)