Absolutely Breathless !!!

Just came across this beautiful song. Some time back this series of performances were held all across US and UK to be like of a fundraiser and the money gathered from all these performances will be used for helping the earthquake victims of Haiti.

Life is very uncertain. There are things that in our hands and then there also things that are not in out hands. Natural calamities are one of them. We are always bogged down by the dynamic human behaviors and seldom do we have time to devote to pray to God and thank him for the perfect things, and when we forget to thank him, he has his own ways to remind us that we have to worship him. I am not a good believer in God, but I am somehow amazed, surprised and shocked at some of the co-incidences that I have come across in my life. And when his wrath is showed upon us, there is no escape rather than just give up and then help others.

The marks of these natural calamities will stay forever, but we have to live with that. Things will not change and we even know that it will happen again also, and still we will not be able to handle the next such instance. But to those who survived this natural war, the post-war pain is too much. Everyday will remind them of how this day could have been different would they not have lost their loved ones in the recent years. Un-natural deaths are much unprecedented and they shake everyone related to them. Every year, every event, life without your loved ones is very different. This is the time when others have to show their care and love to the ones who have not been so lucky like them.

Breathless - Hope For Haiti

Taylor

Swift

Here you are now

Fresh from your war

Back from the edge of time

And all that you were,

Stripped to the bone

I thought you d want to know

That when you feel the world is crashing

All around your feet

Come running headlong into my arms

Breathless

I'll never judge you

I can only love you

Come now running headlong

Into my arms

Breathless

Lay down your guns

Too weak to run

Nothing can harm you here

Your precious heart

Broken and scarred

Somehow you made it through

I only ask that you won't go again

When you feel the world is crashing

All around your feet

Come running headlong into my arms

Breathless

I'll never judge you

I can only love you

Come now running headlong

Into my arms

Breathless

So glad to see you smiling

So good to hear your laugh

I think that you've found you even

Missed yourself

I'm only asking this because I think that

Truth be told

Oh, you'll never go again

Again

When you feel the world is crashing

All around your feet

Come running headlong into my arms

Breathless

I'll never judge you

I can only love you

Come now running headlong

Into my arms

Breathless

Breathless

At the end of the performance, there was not even a single clap from the audience. Maybe because the audience was much too understanding that they were not there to praise Swift's song but to make that show a success so that more and more money could be raised. But no doubt the song was wonderful and each and every expression of Taylor in the video with words of the song, make such a sense that you are bound to say "Oh my god".

Natural disasters like this realize us of our limitation as human beings and to remind us that we are not God. We have to go through painful moments and these phases in our lives make us more human and make us more strong. Human brain is set to forget things pretty fast, so the effects of this earthquake will be forgotten in a couple of months or year. What will continue to exist is our ability to live through these events. Those who did not survive this disaster, died may their soul rest in peace, and those who survived, will have to die everyday in remembrance of their loved one who could not make it through.

When I'm With You !!!

I am alone today... I remember that quote which I used to get in my e-mail so often and I used to take not more than 5 seconds to delete it. It was something like this...

"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime."

One thing I am sure of, is that you were definitely not here for a season. I am really not sure where this lyf is leading me but I am ready to face all the challenges and take on whatever comes my way. It was a bumpy ride till now, and I am sure God doesn't have anything better than this in store for me. That is how lyf has been for me. Decision taking has always been a pain, be it for any reason. Even when confused, I was never given enough time to evaluate all my options at that time so had to take whatever decision, people thought was best for me that time. You taught me live life the way you want to. Work when you want to work continuously. No one stopping you for anything urgent because you give your work the first priority in lyf at that time. Enjoy when you want to enjoy. Party every night if you want, and drink until you fall down. I knew I could do that just because of you and you were always there to help me even when I was unable to help myself. Whatever it took from you, you never lost faith in me. I was so weak and vulnerable and I could not afford even one more setback and you really understood the gravity of that and never let anything touch me. Probably I can call you something like a guardian angel for me who was sent to take care of me and hold me when I needed someone the most. In this short span of time, you taught me that we can learn anything we want.

I'm only me when I'm with you

Songwriters: Orrall, Robert Ellis; Angelo; Swift, Taylor Alison;

Friday night beneath the stars,

in a field behind your yard,

you and I are paintin' pictures in the sky.

And sometimes we don't say a thing;

just listen to the crickets sing.

Everything I need is right here by my side.

And I know everything about you

I don't wanna live without you.

[Chorus:]

I'm only up when your'e not down.

Don't wanna fly if your'e still on the ground.

It's like no matter what I do.

Well you drive me crazy half the time;

the other half im only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.

And I'm only me when I'm with you.

Just a small town boy and girl

livin' in a crazy world.

Tryin' to figure out what is and isn't true.

And I don't try to hide my tears.

The secrets are my deepest fears.

Through it all nobody gets me like you do.

And you know everything about me.

You say you can't live without me.

[Chorus:]

I'm only up when your'e not down.

Don't wanna fly if your'e still on the ground.

It's like no matter what I do.

Well you drive me crazy half the time;

the other half im only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.

And I'm only me when I'm with you.

When I'm with anybody else it's so hard to be myself.

Only you can tell.

[Chorus:]

That I'm only up when your'e not down.

Don't wanna fly if your'e still on the ground.

It's like no matter what I do.

Well you drive me crazy half the time;

the other half im only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.

And I'm only me

Who I wanna be

Well, I'm only me when I'm with you

With you

Uh huh

Yeah

Now that you are gone, I feel the vacuum within me. Now I understand what you meant to me and why I did not take an opportunity to thank you for all you have done. You are gone, although not un-reachable still, but feels like you are not away from me. It all happened in such a short span of time that I could not even accept and understand what was happening. You have guided me through all the situations and you can't just run away from your responsibilities. Yes it is your responsibility to take care of me. I can claim my part of YOU. A true friend, a roommate, neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger - but when you lock eyes with them,

you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

Another good quote I came across - A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"

Coming soon.. Part 2 of this post because of a recent development ... :-(

When Love & Hate Collide

Situation at present is not as you think it is. Open your eyes and see the world outside of you and you will see that everywhere pain exists, but love also exists. And who wins is a choice that we have to make. You can cling on to the past and hold on to it and repent about what happened, or you can move on and take life as it comes and try to find some happiness for you and also for the people who matter the most for you. I am not talking about me because I know I am not in that league anymore, and maybe I do not even deserve to be in that domain, but for those who care about you, and love you, love them back.. so that they will never have to make a choice between you or their own self. I had this choice and I made a mistake... But everybody makes mistakes. Mistake of believing that you were in love. Mistake of believing that I was in love. I have always wanted to hold-on to our relationship, but now things are not in my hands anymore. I wish I could tell you how badly I needed you in my lyf and now that you are nowhere here, my lyf sucks... without you.

This song here has nothing in common with me perhaps but wanted to let you know that I still wanted to try to make things back to normal for us, but did not do so.

It feels like as if this whole world conspired against us and they were successful too.

And now I have given up on any hope of getting things back to shape between us I need your help in accepting the truth. One day I will probably realize that you were actually the one for me and even then I lost you.

I came across this wonderful song (originally by Def Leppard) sung by Taylor Swift and Def Leppard at a concert in the last quarter of 2008. The DVD for this concert was made available exclusively at Walmart stores in June 2009. It has a beautiful collection of songs which have a blend of Taylor's voice on Def Leppard's songs and vice-versa.

When Love And Hate Collide - Taylor Swift & Def Leppard

Note: No I am not drunk and not even asleep (though the time is 4 AM). The name of the video above is something like "Taylor Swift Hope For Haiti Now HD Better Than ...", but this video is actually When Love And Hate Collide.

You could have a change of heart

If you would only change your mind

Instead of slamming down the phone, baby

For the hundreth time

I got your number on my wall

But I ain't gonna make that call

When divided we stand,baby

United we fall

[Joe Elliott]

Got the time, got the chance, gonna make it

Got my hands on your heart, gonna take it

All I know, I can't fight this flame

But you could have a change of heart

If you would only change your mind

[Taylor Swift]

Cause I'm crazy 'bout you baby

Time after time

[Joe Elliott]

Without you, one night alone

[Taylor Swift]

Is like a year without you, baby

Do you have a heart of stone?

[Joe Elliott]

Without you, I can't stop this hurt inside

When love and hate collide

[Taylor Swift]

I don't wanna fight no more

I don't know what we're fighting for

When we treat each other, baby

Like an act of war

And I can tell a million lies

But it would come as no surprise

When the truth is like a stranger

Hits you right between the eyes

Ohh

[Joe Elliott]

There's a time, and a place, and a reason

And I know i got a love to believe in

All i know, got to win this time

Without you, one night alone

[Taylor Swift]

Is like a year without you baby

Do you have a heart of stone?

[Joe Elliott]

Without you, I can't stop the hurt inside

When love and hate collide

-Guitar Solo-

[Joe Elliott]

You could have a change of heart

If you would only change your mind

[Taylor Swift]

Cause I'm crazy 'bout you baby

Crazy, Crazy

[Joe Elliott]

Without you, one night alone

[Taylor Swift]

Is like a year without you, baby

Do you have a heart of stone?

Without you, one night alone

[Taylor Swift]

Is like a year without you, baby

Do you have a heart of stone?

[Joe Elliott]

Without you, I can't stop the hurt inside

[Taylor Swift]

When love and hate collide

I know I have to win this game of being hated, because of I have learned about relationships that nothing will ever end on a good note. It can always end harshly otherwise it will never end at all. I never won in the game of love, but I wish I can win in this part of lyf and forget all about us, but I am used to losing.

The Best Day !!!

Just read a blog about parents and remembered this song. Could not hold back my tears. I think I have them in excess, does anyone need them? I am offering it for free ;-)

Jokes apart, even I have been thinking to write something related to this topic and how my lyf is affected to my life. Yeah, in this episode also, as usual, I will write lyf sucks. I can remember almost each and every day when and what my folks had to pay the price (both financially and mentally) for all my mistakes in life. I have never been good or done good for them. It's not that I have done it with all my intentions being wrong, but just that due to all my actions, they have always been in trouble. In my childhood I never listened to them, thinking whatever they say does not apply to me or its too difficult to follow what they say, but today I know how right they have been all through their life. I read this quote recently in my mailbox by Mark Twain:-

When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Apart from whatever I have written prior in this blog, this is another big grey area in my life. I wish that time could be turned back and I would have done whatever they had said to me 15 yrs back. Oh I wish time could be turned back.

The Best Day - Taylor Swift

Songwriters: Swift, Taylor Alison;

I'm five years old and it's getting cold

I've got my big coat on

I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you

I run and run

Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides

Look now the sky is gold

I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall

I know you're not scared of anything at all

Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away

But I know I had the best day with you today

I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean

I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys

And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away

And we talk and window shop till I forgot all their names

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school

But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you

Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay

But I know I had the best day with you today

I have an excellent father

His strength is making me stronger

God smiles on my little brother

Inside and out he's better than I am

I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run

And I had the best days with you

There is a video I found from back when I was three

You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me

It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarfs

Daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world

Now I know why all the trees change in the fall

I know you were on my side even when I was wrong

And I love you for giving me your eyes

Staying back and watching me shine and I didn't know if you knew

So I'm taking this chance to say that I had the best day with you today

I just wanted to say one more thing to my parents, although I know they will never read this post online here, but just wanted to take this stuff out of me and put it somewhere and not let it die with me. I love you Mom & Dad. In my own way, but I do and I am sorry for all the trouble I have caused you all my lyf. That's why I say that my lyf sucks. I know I can do nothing but just keep blaming it and not powerful enough to end it right here, right now. I might have thousands of reasons of not doing anything like this and one of them being that I am afraid too. Afraid of consequences too.

You're Beautiful !!!

I know you have been told this numerous times that you are very beautiful. But this phrase has a lot deeper meaning than just to express your outer beauty. People have said this to you and I agree that they also might have meant what I am trying to say, but just for the sake of saying again, I am telling you that there is no one in this world as beautiful as you.

Our lives have different paths and I am glad our paths met for once and we did share some of our best moments of life. I have all the memories of our times, and some pictures too, which always make me cry. I don't know why do we meet people whom we can never have in our life. But even though it may be difficult for me, it might be so much for you. So I just want to say what this song says... Stay Beautiful !!!

Stay Beautiful - Taylor Swift

Songwriters: Rose, Liz; Swift, Taylor Alison;

Cory's eyes are like a jungle

he smiles, it's like the radio

He whispers songs into my window

in words nobody knows

There's pretty girls on every corner

that watch him as he's walking home

saying, does he know

Will you ever know

Chorus:

You're beautiful

Every little piece, love, don't you know

You're really gonna be someone, ask anyone

When you find everything you've looked for

I hope your life leads you back to my door

Oh but if it don't, stay beautiful

Cory finds another way to be

the highlight of my day

I'm taking pictures in my mind

so I can save them for a rainy day

It's hard to make conversation

when he's taking my breathe away

I should say, hey by the way...

Repeat Chorus

If you and I are a story

that never gets told

If what you are is a daydream

I'll never get to hold, at least you'll know

You're beautiful

Every little piece, love, don't you know

You're really gonna be someone, ask anyone

When you find everything you've looked for

I hope your life leads you back to my front door

Oh but if it don't, will you stay beautiful beautiful beatiful...

beautiful beautiful beautiful

Ohh ohh ohhh

oh but if it don't

Stay Beautiful

Stay Beautiful

You are the best and you deserve the best. Everyone wants to be with you but rarely will there be someone lucky who wil be close to your heart. I am really honored to have been that someone. Even then there is something between us which never gets clicked. Maybe our future is the biggest hindrance in our present. And tomorrow when we both have a good career, a bright future, then I wish we both land together face to face and I hope we share the same feelings what we share today.

Things have changed in the recent few months and this is what I am left with... Just some blank lines on which you can't even figure out if something is written or...

Teardrops.... Just can't stop....

I wish I could play guitar then this song would probably made more sense. It's so funny that when we look back at our past and think about the times we laughed, it makes us cry. And when we look back at the times when we cried, it makes us laugh because now we feel that we weren't mature enough to handle that situation. Maybe I will think about this night after 5 years and I'll smile at my own blog. This circle of smiling and crying will continue until I die. Memories of loss that can never be healed up. I guess we have to learn how to cope with different situations in different ways. I have faith in my future that some day it will make me forget all my past and all there will be left is the present. You just know some things, without any proof or reasoning. I feel like crying, but this fact in itself is making me smile. I really don't know whether I should cry of smile. People walk in to your life, teach you so many things and then when you are used to them, one day you realize they are gone. They are no more with you. They are not with you anymore to share your happy moments. When you cry, they are no more there to comfort you by trying all the tricks in this world to make you smile. All you have with you is your guitar and your teardrops that keep falling on it whenever you play any song that reminds you something from your past. These memories surface so many emotions that it is hard to express them in words. I heard somewhere that feelings that can be expressed in words are no feelings at all.

Teardrops On My Guitar lyrics

Songwriters: Rose, Liz; Swift, Taylor Alison;

Drew looks at me

I fake a smile so he won't see

What I want and I need

And everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful

That girl he talks about

And she's got everything

That I have to live without

Drew talks to me

I laugh 'cause it's just so funny

I can't even see

Anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love

He's finally got it right

I wonder if he knows

He's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star

He's the song in the car I keep singing

Don't know why I do

Drew walks by me

Can he tell that I can't breathe?

And there he goes, so perfectly

The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight

Give him all her love

Look in those beautiful eyes

And know she's lucky 'cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star

He's the song in the car I keep singing

Don't know why I do

So I drive home alone

As I turn out the light

I'll put his picture down

And maybe get some sleep tonight

'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart

He's the song in the car I keep singing

Don't know why I do

He's the time taken up but there's never enough

And he's all that I need to fall into

Drew looks at me

I fake a smile so he won't see.

We can never replace the people in our lives that we love. And the irony of love is that of all the friends I have left with me, they'll believe I loved as best as I could, even when I couldn't believe I could love at all. After this loss, I know I'm not REALLY lost. It just feels that way. But as Robert Frost said "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on."

Yes so my life will go on. Don't know why god has chosen me for such painful life. Maybe others were not strong enough to handle this. Neither am I. And miles to go before I sleep.

Songs about my soul...

So, I am back again, not trying at all to keep any promises made because I know promises are made to be broken. I was a club last weekend where I managed to get hold of a pen and paper wo write down something. No doubt I was drunk but I am sure some of my capabilities were still at peak (like walking straight and writing).

I have started living life as if just existing. This was not the kind of ending I ever wished for our relationship. Having a cup of coffee brings tears to my eyes. I can see that evening in my head everyday afterdark. This distance of 8000 miles between us was a mistake which I realized quite late. I realized that being practical at times is a mistake, choosing head over heart is a mistake, money over friendship is a mistake, distance over love is a mistake. When I breathe, I am looking for that amazing fragrance of yours for which I have been crazy, but I know its nowhere near me. As someone rightly said "It only hurts when I breathe".

Life is incomplete without you near me and that's all I want you to know. Somehow I wish you read this blog and know what you mean to me. I know it ain't gonna happen and there's not gonna be a happy ending for this story.

It's expressed perfectly by this song... again from Taylor Alison Swift:

Breathe - Taylor Swift - Colbie Caillat

I see your face in my mind as I drive away

'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way

People are people and sometimes we change our minds

But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie

It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see

'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down

Now I don't know what to be without you around

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe

Without you, but I have to

Breathe

Without you, but I have to

Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt

Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve

People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out

Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe

Without you, but I have to

Breathe

Without you, but I have to

It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend

Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me

It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend

Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh

I can't breathe

Without you, but I have to

Breathe

Without you, but I have to

Breathe

Without you, but I have to

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

Yes its almost 2 AM here and probably I have lost you ( Yeah I realize that 7 months later) but I will never stop trying to get you back. That's the reason why I am still alive. I might be good in programming, but when it comes to fixing bugs in relationships, I am not good enough. Please understand that I may have made mistakes because I am just a human. I don't want to die with this suffering.

There are so many tings that we have to do in spite of knowing the consequences

I am starving for life and this pain is still killing me softly.