Songs about my soul...

So, I am back again, not trying at all to keep any promises made because I know promises are made to be broken. I was a club last weekend where I managed to get hold of a pen and paper wo write down something. No doubt I was drunk but I am sure some of my capabilities were still at peak (like walking straight and writing).

I have started living life as if just existing. This was not the kind of ending I ever wished for our relationship. Having a cup of coffee brings tears to my eyes. I can see that evening in my head everyday afterdark. This distance of 8000 miles between us was a mistake which I realized quite late. I realized that being practical at times is a mistake, choosing head over heart is a mistake, money over friendship is a mistake, distance over love is a mistake. When I breathe, I am looking for that amazing fragrance of yours for which I have been crazy, but I know its nowhere near me. As someone rightly said "It only hurts when I breathe".

Life is incomplete without you near me and that's all I want you to know. Somehow I wish you read this blog and know what you mean to me. I know it ain't gonna happen and there's not gonna be a happy ending for this story.

It's expressed perfectly by this song... again from Taylor Alison Swift:

Breathe - Taylor Swift - Colbie Caillat

I see your face in my mind as I drive away

'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way

People are people and sometimes we change our minds

But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie

It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see

'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down

Now I don't know what to be without you around

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe

Without you, but I have to

Breathe

Without you, but I have to

Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt

Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve

People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out

Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe

Without you, but I have to

Breathe

Without you, but I have to

It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend

Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me

It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend

Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh

I can't breathe

Without you, but I have to

Breathe

Without you, but I have to

Breathe

Without you, but I have to

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

Yes its almost 2 AM here and probably I have lost you ( Yeah I realize that 7 months later) but I will never stop trying to get you back. That's the reason why I am still alive. I might be good in programming, but when it comes to fixing bugs in relationships, I am not good enough. Please understand that I may have made mistakes because I am just a human. I don't want to die with this suffering.

There are so many tings that we have to do in spite of knowing the consequences

I am starving for life and this pain is still killing me softly.