Friday, September 16, 2011

Mean


I can just not make you feel happy. No matter what I do you're always mad at me and I can't change your mind. And will not even try to change any of your perception about me. If you have to love me, then love me for the the what you see in me... don't love me for what I tell about myself. 

If you think I am Mean.. then so be it. I will face the brunt of this allegation all throughout my lyf. But I know that I have never been mean. I am not going to write down a list of all my sacrifices here.. because probably I don't have enough. I am not God. I may have made mistakes. I am just a human being. 

With this post, I just want to convey this to you. I am not mean. I just hope you don't feel I am a liar. Mean are those who are so busy trying to bring you down that they never bother to find the time to bring themselves up. I have always wanted you to succeed in lyf, no matter if it required a little give-up from me. I have never told you about those small and petty things which are not big enough to matter with respect to you. Don't run away from me. Realize that I am the one who is with you, rather than against you. Don't tell me that I have to prove it. I won't be able to. You know it doesn't hurt more when people you love don't love you back, but it hurts the most when they don't trust you anymore. This famous quote finds its perfect place in this post here...

"There were things I wanted to tell him. But I knew they would hurt him. So I buried them, and let them hurt me." 

The choice of this song is based on what you are (maybe) feeling for me. You don't have to wish that someday I will be lonely in lyf. I have been lonely enough even in the middle of a crowd all my lyf.

What worse can you ask for me. What you have gone through was caused by circumstances, it wasn't me. If I fall short of your expectations now, then its not because I have changed. 
Mean
Songwriters: Swift, Taylor Alison;

You, with your words like knives 
And swords and weapons that you use against me
You have knocked me off my feet again
Got me feeling like a nothing
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I'm wounded
You picking on the weaker man

Well you can take me down with just one single blow
but you don't know, what you don't know...

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever going to be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever going to be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides
And your wildfire lies and your humiliation
You have pointed out my flaws again
As if I don't already see them
I walk with my head down
Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again

I bet you got pushed around
Somebody made you cold
But the cycle ends right now
Cause you can't lead me down that road
And you don't know, what you don't know...

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever going to be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever going to be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar
Talking over a football game
With that same big loud opinion
But nobody's listening
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing
But all you are is mean

All you are is mean
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

But someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever going to be is mean, yeah yeah
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever going to be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever going to be is mean, yeah yeah
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever going to be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean? 

We set out on this voyage together long back.. and now that I achieved a milestone, I think I lost what mattered to me more than my achievements. I overlooked the fact that my goals and my aims were because you were with me. This moment doesn't mean much to me today, though I always thought about it as a sparkling day is my lyf. I was too busy shaping up my tomorrow that I forgot what a wonderful present I had. These new heights have made me realize how low I have gone. I have been so selfish and so mean. Probably whatever I wrote above means nothing. It seems senseless.
There could be numerous other possibilities. Again it reminds me of the fact the I don't know the your part of this story. And that hurts!!! Yes I remember where I have read this line before. But the question here is not whether I remember or not.. The question really is do you remember it or not?

Just because my eyes are closed, doesn’t mean I’m sleeping
Just because you see no tears, does not mean I am not crying
Just because you see a smile, does not mean that I’m not dying
                            (stolen from An Unknown Girl)

Why did God not give us the power to understand relationships? Was it because he was afraid that we would destroy relationships too? Perhaps we are destroying them by not understanding the complexities in relationships. Why is it that everything has to be shouted out loud. Why can't the other person know what we think about them? Why can't they just reciprocate our feelings? Why couldn't lyf be simpler?

2 comments:

  1. we cannot understand relationships because we are meant to spend our life trying to find one that works - romantic or otherwise. Sometime I wish that I knew what the other person was thinking, it would make it so much easier! But then I remember that easy isn't always the ultimate goal. Life is complicated and tends to suck, but every now and then there are moments that make it all worth wild.

    Reading through your post, I kept thinking of the Tim McGraw song "Just to See You Smile." I think this song perfectly exemplifies what it means to truly love someone: if you love them you want what's best for them, even if that's not you. It sucks, but unfortunately the ones we love don't always love us back in the same way...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RA0BtDwWeMM

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  2. Totally agree to what you said. Every now and then, there are moments, which make you smile. Even though there are no real big reason, but you just smile.

    Amazing song there.. I just love her !!!
    Yes it sucks and its easy said than done. It really hurts when you can't make them understand how much you love them or the way you love them.

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