Some days are just not meant to be your way. Whatever I do, whatever I say, it is going against me. Seems like I am a lone fighter in this battle which I have already lost, but still trying to change the fate. I wish this was all a dream. I have tried to become everyone but me... and that too for everyone else's sake. My skool mates wanted me to help them as much as I could. My high skool friends, took all the advantage of me as much they could (not unknowingly though). Now I understand that is has been correctly said:
The toughest task in this world is to remain yourself even when people are constantly trying to make you someone else.
Today, I could not recognize myself in the mirror. I forgot when I saw the the real me.
There have been days when I was alone, I was sad, I was broken, but today is something different. I am not broken, not sad and not alone also, but things don't seem perfect. Something is missing, lyf is lacking out on something. Maybe its the lyf in itself only which I am missing. Doing right ends up as doing wrong. Making a point to someone seems like I am trying to make my presence felt and the point in talking seems meaningless. This is only my part of the story, maybe the other part would be exactly opposite. I don't belong here. I am really an Outsider.. trying to find a place for myself. Squeezing in, adjusting, trying my best, but each day still making me realize that its all in vain. Every morning a battle starts and every evening, I end up losing that and losing a little more faith on the belief that I really do belong here. Do I really belong in this stupid world, full of selfish people, some for money and some for love? Everyone wants to have everything, but no one wants to share anything.
You're Not Sorry
Songwriters: Swift, Taylor Alison;
All this time I was wasting,
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down
And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again,
But not this time around
You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no oh
Looking so innocent,
I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before
But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no, oh
You're not sorry no no oh
You had me crawling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade
So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no oh
You're not sorry, no no oh
I wish i could request one thing......please change ur blog name/title/whatever.....so tht it cant be accessed by me......its done me enough damage as it is...... there is no other way to communicate hence i am communicating through here......i have no control over my emotions and i will visit it again and again and again....and make things hell for me....and since u already think u do so much for other people..please do this one favor for me as well..please its a sincerest request...and i am not writing this comment in a angry tone..its more a pleading tone..
ReplyDelete"People always try to portray as friends, as well-wishers, as colleagues, but at the end of the day, they will not hesitate to slit your throat with the knife of trust." ---- and one more thing....this applies to the person who wrote this as well...every relationship is two sides.....ask urself if u ever tried to see the other side.....people are selfish for money...selfish for love...selfish for friendship as well....and this is meant for you....seriously.....have u realized how selfish u have been.....u have just wanted things the way u have wanted it....look back and see...how much of a friendship have you showered...
sometimes i wonder if u really mean what all things u write in here.....i mean god! everyone goes through bad phases but this is like....never mind....i dont know why i keep feeling so bad for you after everything.....everytime....y i cant stop feeling my heart out for you....I just pray someday u will come out of all this...this self pitying.....loser talks!!!....Be a MAN!!!...Live like a MAN!!!...u think u r the only one in this world surrounded by miseries......and what miseries u have..??!!! u have a nice close knit family......and u still crib....and cry....and about ur love life...jeez..just assuming from all this write up here....u let her go...some 2008 story hhaan!...go and get her back..am sure she is stil waiting...after all she is a girl...and i can say she is still waiting.....but no u r ready to cry ur heart out here in a blog but not do anything in real...cause perhaps it hurts ur ego ....or perhaps u think u r not settled enough in career..or whatever....let her be a part of it and see....may be life will be better....U HAVE CHOSEN TO FIGHT THIS BATTLE ALONE...then why and wht are u crying about.....if u wanted her with you...call her to be with you....sometimes u need someone in life to share things...share things in real...not as an xyz person...hiding behind a false identity....had i known that girl...would hve made her go back to you..to save the sane bit thats remaining......if u love her so much make her a part of ur life.....and stop crying like a baby in a blog.....god! how i feel like yelling at the kinds of you......you really dnt know how ur blogs have damaged my sanity....i wish i could explain it all!! And i wish i could give u a good good bashing...dont take all this in a wrong way please....this isnt meant to add to ur "life sucks" attitude...please no...!!! its meant to plead to you..please please please...get out of this type of defeated thoughts....if there are things not working...try something else....something will wrk.....i know i dont know the real context and writing stuff....but whatever it is i am sure..there can be better ways..please think abt it..TC
I wish i could request one thing......please change ur blog name/title/whatever.....so tht it cant be accessed by me......its done me enough damage as it is...... there is no other way to communicate hence i am communicating through here......i have no control over my emotions and i will visit it again and again and again....and make things hell for me....
ReplyDelete"People always try to portray as friends, as well-wishers, as colleagues, but at the end of the day, they will not hesitate to slit your throat with the knife of trust." ---- and one more thing....this applies to the person who wrote this as well...every relationship is two sides.....ask urself if u ever tried to see the other side.....people are selfish for money...selfish for love...selfish for friendship as well....and this is meant for you....seriously.....have u realized how selfish u have been.....u have just wanted things the way u have wanted it....
sometimes i wonder if u really mean what all things u write in here.....i mean god! everyone goes through bad phases but this is like....never mind....i dont know why i keep feeling so bad for you after everything.....everytime....y i cant stop feeling my heart out for you....I just pray someday u will come out of all this...this self pitying.....loser talks!!!....Be a MAN!!!...Live like a MAN!!!...u think u r the only one in this world surrounded by miseries......and what miseries u have..??!!! u have a nice close knit family......and u still crib....and cry....and about ur love life...jeez..as i am assuming from al your write ups here....u let her go...some 2008 story hhaan!...go and get her back..am sure she is stil waiting...after all she is a girl...and i can say she is still waiting.....but no u r ready to cry ur heart out here in a blog but not do anything about all tht...cause it urts ur ego perhaps....or perhaps u think u r not settled enough in career...dunno whatever it is.....let her be a part of it and see....may be life will be better....U HAVE CHOSEN TO FIGHT THIS BATTLE ALONE...then why and wht are u crying about.....if u wanted her with you...call her to be with you....sometimes u need someone in life to share things...share things in real...not as an xyz person...hiding behind a false identity....had i known that girl...would hve made her go back to you..to save the sane bit thats remaining......if u love her so much make her a part of ur life.....and stop crying like a baby in a blog.....god! how i feel like yelling at the kinds of you......you really dnt know how ur blogs have damaged my sanity....i wish i could explain it all!! And yes this is not meant to add to ur 'life sucks' attitude....its to plead to you...if one thing is not wrking there may be other things.....i know i dont know any of the contexxt all assumption but still ....[that is precisely if you are the one i think u are and i do care care care a lot].....
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteI admit it here, I never saw the other side of the door, because I have never been shown that path. How would I know things are not fine at the other end. I need someone to tell me. And I totally agree that I have been selfish, that's why all of it started and life came in this way. Things may have been different if I did not take the path I chose.
ReplyDeleteLooks like you were really angry, for me... not against me.. I know that. My blogs damaged your sanity... I am so sorry for that. I did not ever wish to do that.
This is my space and let me control who stays and who goes out. You are definitely not going anywhere. You dare not.