Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Best Day !!!

Just read a blog about parents and remembered this song. Could not hold back my tears. I think I have them in excess, does anyone need them? I am offering it for free ;-)

Jokes apart, even I have been thinking to write something related to this topic and how my lyf is affected to my life. Yeah, in this episode also, as usual, I will write lyf sucks. I can remember almost each and every day when and what my folks had to pay the price (both financially and mentally) for all my mistakes in life. I have never been good or done good for them. It's not that I have done it with all my intentions being wrong, but just that due to all my actions, they have always been in trouble. In my childhood I never listened to them, thinking whatever they say does not apply to me or its too difficult to follow what they say, but today I know how right they have been all through their life. I read this quote recently in my mailbox by Mark Twain:-

When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Apart from whatever I have written prior in this blog, this is another big grey area in my life. I wish that time could be turned back and I would have done whatever they had said to me 15 yrs back. Oh I wish time could be turned back.

The Best Day - Taylor Swift
Songwriters: Swift, Taylor Alison;
the best day

I'm five years old and it's getting cold
I've got my big coat on
I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you
I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides
Look now the sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
I know you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today

I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys
And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop till I forgot all their names

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I know I had the best day with you today

I have an excellent father
His strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother
Inside and out he's better than I am
I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run
And I had the best days with you

There is a video I found from back when I was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me
It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarfs
Daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world

Now I know why all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
Staying back and watching me shine and I didn't know if you knew
So I'm taking this chance to say that I had the best day with you today



I just wanted to say one more thing to my parents, although I know they will never read this post online here, but just wanted to take this stuff out of me and put it somewhere and not let it die with me. I love you Mom & Dad. In my own way, but I do and I am sorry for all the trouble I have caused you all my lyf. That's why I say that my lyf sucks. I know I can do nothing but just keep blaming it and not powerful enough to end it right here, right now. I might have thousands of reasons of not doing anything like this and one of them being that I am afraid too. Afraid of consequences too.

3 comments:

  1. Go and tell them. You won't become any small, may be it will be one little penance for you. Make them happy by telling them you love them and you are sorry for the things you did. May be you don't have to tell it in person, may be you can send then a gift on their marriage anniversary, perhaps you have never done it but there is always a first time. Send them a card writing your feelings. Trust me it will not make you small. Just a thought.

    About the last few lines - All I can say at some moment in our lives we all feel that way. I have felt that a thousand million times but then that is the most selfish thing one can do. Instead if at all you feel that worthless about life, may be you can go join a social service organization and lend a helping hand. At the least in someway you will feel there was a purpose for your life. And then I am sure there is someone for whom your life is important and so is it for the people you mentioned in this blog. You write very well. Just the lyf-sucks makes it sad. For a change can you think about some of your best moments and put it down. I am sure there will be at least one such moment if not many. Please, do share.

    By the way, I apologize for the way I wrote my previous comment.

    ReplyDelete
  2. @ Anon:
    Thanks for your suggestions.. I will certainly try to find some way out and let them know how much they mean to me. It's just not about my ego.

    Yes there is someone for whom my lyf is very important. I am thankful to God for giving me that person. Coming up a new post with a new perspective of lyf.

    ReplyDelete
  3. No need to apologize for anything buddy. I was at least happy and excited to see your comments here, there and everywhere. Keep commenting.. makes me feel better.

    ReplyDelete