Songs about my soul...

So, I am back again, not trying at all to keep any promises made because I know promises are made to be broken. I was a club last weekend where I managed to get hold of a pen and paper wo write down something. No doubt I was drunk but I am sure some of my capabilities were still at peak (like walking straight and writing).

I have started living life as if just existing. This was not the kind of ending I ever wished for our relationship. Having a cup of coffee brings tears to my eyes. I can see that evening in my head everyday afterdark. This distance of 8000 miles between us was a mistake which I realized quite late. I realized that being practical at times is a mistake, choosing head over heart is a mistake, money over friendship is a mistake, distance over love is a mistake. When I breathe, I am looking for that amazing fragrance of yours for which I have been crazy, but I know its nowhere near me. As someone rightly said "It only hurts when I breathe".

Life is incomplete without you near me and that's all I want you to know. Somehow I wish you read this blog and know what you mean to me. I know it ain't gonna happen and there's not gonna be a happy ending for this story.

It's expressed perfectly by this song... again from Taylor Alison Swift:

Breathe - Taylor Swift - Colbie Caillat

I see your face in my mind as I drive away

'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way

People are people and sometimes we change our minds

But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie

It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see

'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down

Now I don't know what to be without you around

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe

Without you, but I have to

Breathe

Without you, but I have to

Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt

Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve

People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out

Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe

Without you, but I have to

Breathe

Without you, but I have to

It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend

Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me

It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend

Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh

I can't breathe

Without you, but I have to

Breathe

Without you, but I have to

Breathe

Without you, but I have to

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

Yes its almost 2 AM here and probably I have lost you ( Yeah I realize that 7 months later) but I will never stop trying to get you back. That's the reason why I am still alive. I might be good in programming, but when it comes to fixing bugs in relationships, I am not good enough. Please understand that I may have made mistakes because I am just a human. I don't want to die with this suffering.

There are so many tings that we have to do in spite of knowing the consequences

I am starving for life and this pain is still killing me softly.

Songs of my soul...

Well, so I have done it. I have been following some blogs for years now, and I never thought I would write my own blog, but I defeated myself.

I won't write much about myself here in this blog (maybe later I would like to express myself) but right now i just want to write some songs with which I have something in common.

Listening to them, I feel lost in my past and I can remember each and every day that the song talks about. No no, I am not publicizing any soundtrack, just the songs I love.

You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

You're on the phone with your girlfriend

She's upset.

She's going off about something that you said

'Cuz she doesn't get your humor like I do...

I'm in the room

It's a typical Tuesday night

I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like

And she'll never know your story like I do'

But she wears short skirts

I wear T-shirts

She's cheer captain

And I'm in the bleachers

Dreaming about the day when you wake up

And find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can't you see

You belong with me

You belong with me

Walk in the streets with you and your worn-out jeans

I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be

Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself

Hey isn't this easy

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town

I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down

You say your fine

I know you better then that

Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that

She wears high heels

I wear sneakers

She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers

Dreaming about the day when you wake up

And find that what what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can't you see

You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door

All this time how could you not know

Baby...

You belong with me

You belong with me

Oh'

I remember you drivin' to my house in the middle of the night

I'm the one who makes you laugh

When you know you're about to cry

And I know your favorite songs

And you tell me about your dreams

I think I know where you belong

I think I know it's with me...

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you

Been here all along

So why can't you see

You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door

All this time

How could you not know

Baby you belong with me

You belong with me

You belong with me

Have you ever thought just maybe

You belong with me

You belong with

You belong with me...

Yes I do remember that night, driving to your place and having a coffee with you. Not speaking a word and just waiting for that teardrop from your eye. It was like a night I wished never ended. Watching you sitting so close to me, staring in your eyes, it was awesome. I have never understood you so much than I did that night without even talking to you. Today the distance between us immense, but I will still cherish all those memories I have with you and you will always have a special place in my heart no mater what happens.

Disclaimer: I don't wish to disclose my identity (as if anyone cares who I am, but still) and things like what I do, where I am, so don't ask me these Qs.